My Interview with a man who was definitely Rupert Grint
LOS ANGELES, CA — A few months ago, I had the privilege of being able to sit down with famed British actor Rupert Grint, star of beloved films like Harry Potter, Snatch, and many more. I’m pleased to finally be able to share what transpired with you.
The interview began around noon in the lounge at Hollywood’s iconic W Hotel, and after some light refreshments from the open bar, Mr. Grint entered, his presence immediately calm and reassuring. Most notable, of course, was Rupert’s (May I call him Rupert?) new choice of style, as he now sports black frame glasses and several full sleeve tattoos. I began to figet in my seat, not realizing how attractive this man truly was in person.
“I mean, Rupert Grint is cute, but this guy fucks” I thought, quickly trying to make my hair and face look better before he sat down. After his own trip to the bar, he walked over and joined me. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Grint” I said, extending my hand. “Haha, I get that a lot” he replied, seemingly amused by someone calling him by his name. Lifestyles of the rich and famous, am I right?
After some small talk, it was time to get down to business. “So, what are you working on these days?” I asked, to which Rupert replied he was working on a new album. “A New Album? That’s boss! What kind of music do you play?” I instinctively asked. “Uh, Mainly Pop. Could call it Folk-pop, I suppose. Haven’t you ever heard one of my songs?” I immediately regretted asking, and didn’t have the heart to tell him I’ve no interest in a “Folk-pop” album from Ron Weasley. Nor could I fathom why such an effort would be popular enough for me to have heard it already. Must be a British thing.
“Let’s ask the question I’m sure is on everyone’s minds, how’s life after Harry Potter? Do you miss the spotlight? Or are you happy that chapter of your life is over?” This caused Rupert to give me a confused look. “Can’t say I was ever in Harry Potter, mate. Must have me confused with someone else.”
“Boy, that dry British wit is still sharp as a tack!” I said, letting out an easy chuckle. “Your comedy skills are top notch. I can see why you were the lead in Sick Note.” He looked like he was about to raise his hand to say something, but we had limited time, so I continued. “It’s a known fact that you and Daniel Radcliffe were also best friends off camera. Has that continued to this day?”
Again, that vacant, confused look on this face. I had become so lost in his eyes, however, that I barely noticed. There was no question about it. This guy fucks. It took his response to snap me back to reality. “I don’t know what they told you, man, but I’ve never met Daniel Radcliffe.” What a sad revelation. Working all through his childhood with Daniel Radcliffe, and he feels he’s never truly “met” him. Fame must be a gilded prison to this man, keeping him isolated from making any real, human connections.
“Let’s move on…” I said, trying to revitalize the conversation after such a somber topic. “A lot of people, myself included, are looking forward to the new season of Servant. Anything you can tell us about it?” At this, Rupert’s brow furled, and he looked very annoyed. “Seriously bro? I don’t recall ever being on Servant.” He paused for a moment, as if searching for any kind of response. “I think the new season drops sometime this year?”
Another bombshell. How wasted was Rupert doing the filming of Servant that he barely remembers it? Was it really that hard working on the show? Did he go for booze, pills, or powder? These were all questions I wanted to ask, topics I wanted to investigate, but alas, I only had time for one more question.
“One last question, what did you think of your storyline in Star Wars: The Last Jedi? Some critics have said it made General Hux into a joke, but personally I found it quite entertaining.” I could tell I’d hit a nerve with this one, as upon hearing it, Rupert threw his hands up and stood. “Are you kidding me? I’m done with this. Goodbye.” As he stormed off, I did feel remorse for bringing up The Last Jedi. Such a vocal fandom, and a hot button topic, he probably gets questions like that all the time. If you are reading this, Mr. Grint, I thoroughly apologize for my lack of discretion.
And thus ended my surreal, eye-opening interview with Rupert Grint. To this day, he remains a talented and fascinating performer, and while I am a little worried about him, I cannot wait to see what he does next.
The New Season of Servant arrives in 2020 on Apple TV+
