DNC hopes party will rally around giant, mechanical Joe Biden.

WASHINGTON, DC- In a press briefing Monday morning, Biden campaign manager Greg Schultz unveiled a large, mechanical approximation of the 47th Vice President. “We’re proud to unveil the hard work of our partners at Anaheim Electronics to the nation, and hope it excites voters about Vice President Biden and where his campaign can go.” As sparks flew and circuits stirred to life, the massive automaton Schultz referred to as “Mecha-Biden” began to slowly walk, carefully stepping past the gathered crowd and heading down the road.

“We’ve seen what the american voter wants,” said DNC Chairman Tom Perez when asked about Mecha-Biden. “They want an electable candidate, with a moderate platform, and one who could also plausibly fight Godzilla.” As Mecha-Biden stomped down the beltway, shaking the ground with the massive weight of his Titanium legs, loudspeakers in his mouth bellowed out “NOOOOOOO MAAAAALARKEY!” in a booming approximation of his namesake’s voice.

“It’s a whole new ball game. We can’t rely on that same ol’ playbook anymore.” said Schultz in response to a press question about the inspiration behind Mecha-Biden. “We’ve got to get progressives involved. We’ve got to get young people and minorities involved in a way they’ve never been before.”

Schultz elaborated as car alarms continued to trigger with each mighty step of Mecha-Biden. “And what do they want? They want razzle dazzle. They want a Summer Blockbuster of a candidate. I’ve seen Pacific Rim. Who doesn’t love that movie?” “HOOOOOOOPE AND CHAAAAANGE!” bellowed Mecha-Biden as it began to strut through a suburban neighborhood. “What could get those kids more on board than a Giant Robot powered by green energy? He’s an unstoppable force of electability.”

Chairman Perez echoed this point. “It’s our sincere hope that after a tough primary cycle, the Democratic Party can come together behind a candidate and push them all the way to the white house.” However, his tune changed slightly as Mecha-Biden stopped to argue with a pedestrian asking about Medicare for All. “And should this not proceed as hoped, I trust we can all unite to keep him away from major population centers.”

When asked for his thoughts on the massive android bearing his likeness, Joe Biden himself said “This proves what I’ve been saying all along. Don’t judge me by record, judge me by the amount of districts I can crush.”