A Christmas Miracle: “Mysterious Children” give Giuliani evidence of voter fraudWASHINGTON, DC — After undergoing treatment for the novel coronavirus (COVID-19), Donald Trump’s personal lawyer Rudolph “Rudy” Giuliani…Dec 26, 2020Dec 26, 2020
“Is that the best you can do?” says Toddler to Parents offering candy if he goes to bed on timeEAGLE ROCK, CA- At 8PM Pacific Time on Wednesday, local toddler Skyler O’Mara scoffed at the offer of a marshmallow if he went to bed on…Nov 9, 2020Nov 9, 2020
Desperate: Chuck E. Cheese’s Pizzeria rebrands as “Paul Simon’s Pizzeria”IRVING, TEXAS — In a surprise announcement today, CEC Corporation, owners of the classic Chuck E. Cheese’s Pizzeria restaurants operated…Sep 27, 2020Sep 27, 2020
Double Chocolate Cookie Recipe (Perfect for planning a Heist!)Cookies: Warm, Chewy, Sweet, it’s no wonder they’re such a popular treat around the world! There’s not a person alive who doesn’t love a…Aug 29, 2020Aug 29, 2020
DNC hopes party will rally around giant, mechanical Joe Biden.WASHINGTON, DC- In a press briefing Monday morning, Biden campaign manager Greg Schultz unveiled a large, mechanical approximation of the…Jul 30, 2020Jul 30, 2020
“One Last Job and I’m Done” says Video Game ProtagonistMIDGAR— Local Mercenary Cloud Strife bravely declared he was “Just here for the paycheck” earlier today, assuring his party members…May 6, 2020May 6, 2020
Opinion: I guess all crime is legal now if y’all out here watching Trolls: World TourYou SOBs have really done it this time.Apr 21, 2020Apr 21, 2020
Breaking: Hell revealed to be live, endless perfomance of “KARS 4 KIDS”BEVERLY HILLS, CA — In a posh hospital room in Cedars Sinai hospital, venture capitalist Carl Logan recently awoke from a stroke-induced…Apr 18, 2020Apr 18, 2020
My Interview with a man who was definitely Rupert GrintLOS ANGELES, CA — A few months ago, I had the privilege of being able to sit down with famed British actor Rupert Grint, star of beloved…Apr 10, 2020Apr 10, 2020
State Senator appears in Hazmat suit to announce that “Everything is Fine”MADISON, WI — In a press conference called early thursday, State Senator Kevin Middlebury, joined by top aides, took the podium in a full…Apr 9, 2020Apr 9, 2020
